This is just a quick final pre-departure blog post before I attempt to go to sleep for the night. In 24 hours from this moment, I will have just arrived in London. I am, of course, extremely excited, but most of all I am nervous. Or, more accurately, I am scared to death. Of everything.
I’m scared of flying on my own. I’m scared of living on my own with strangers. I’m scared of sharing a bathroom with four other girls, and a bedroom with two. I’m scared of feeling alone, despite being so surrounded by people. I’m scared of living in a city – a completely foreign city, at that. I’m scared of being pick-pocketed. I’m scared of what my internship may be. I’m scared of adjusting, and of culture shock. I’m scared of being away from all that I know. I’m scared of being away from Scott, of not being able to talk to him on a daily basis, and of what may happen to our relationship after a full semester apart. I’m scared of returning home after nearly four months abroad, because god knows life will not wait for me while I am gone. I am scared of this entire experience, full of more change than I will ever have experienced at once in my life.
I know that I will soon adjust to this new life, and before I realize it my time in London will be over and I’ll be wishing I had more. But for now, I am feeling quite overwhelmed. I realize this all will pass soon so, despite my many fears, I am remaining quite optimistic.
Overall, I know that these fears are mostly irrational. When I really think about it, I have little reason to be scared at all. I know that I will benefit immensely from participating in this study abroad program and I will grow as a person through this experience.
For now, I’m going to attempt to get some sleep since I know I won’t be getting any on my red-eye flight (unfortunately I also fully expect these jitters to keep me very awake tonight). The next time I blog, it will be from London. ‘Til then!